Her Diamonds
by The-Cynical-Goddess
Summary: R X H Lately, Rin just can't shake the feeling something is going to go wrong. But no matter how many times she chases Haru away, he'll be back. After all, isn't that what love is? One shot.


**Her Diamonds**

**Rated: **T (Mild Sexual Content)  
**Couple: **Haru and Rin  
**Song: **Her Diamonds- Rob Thomas  
**Notes: **One-shot

"**Oh what the hell?" She says  
"I just can't win for losing."  
****And she lays back down.  
****Man there's so many times  
I don't know what I do  
****Like I don't know now.**

"Haru…" She whispered. Rin rolled over onto her side, placing her arm across his waist and running her fingers through his hair. "Haru, are you still awake?"

"Sort of," Haru muttered, rolling over so that his half-open eyes were visible to Rin. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said softly. "Haru, please don't go to sleep yet. I don't know how many more nights like these we'll get."

"Okay," he whispered, sitting up and pulling Rin to himself. He felt her smooth skin against his chest as she moved so that she was sitting between his long bare legs. "Anything for you, Rin."

"Don't say that," she said with a sudden ferocity, turning to look him in the eyes.

"Why? You know I'd give you anything I had, do anything you wanted me to."

"You shouldn't say that!" She said, sitting up. Haru blinked in confusion as she pulled away from him, moving her body against the wall. Her foot rested against his calf by nature of her small bed, but she was making it clear that she was angry.

"Why? Rin, I'm telling you I love you."

"Why do you love me? Haru this isn't right. This will never work! Dammit, Haru, stop loving me!"

"Rin!" Haru grabbed her wrist, trying to pull her back into the moment they'd been having. "I love you. You love me. We can't stop this, and you getting upset isn't going to help us!"

"What the hell, Haru? Why don't you get it?" She reached over the bed and grabbed her t-shirt, where only an hour ago he'd discarded it, lying her carefully over the bed.

"I just don't understand what I did."

"You're just… You're just too damn perfect! Now get out of here!"

"Rin…" Haru sat up, trying to catch her around her waist. "Come on, Rin, please just lay down and let's just pretend this never happened."

"You damn fool! You'd pretend us both into oblivion! Do you want Akito to get to you? Do you want to die? Haru… Just get out of my room!"

Haru's eyes stung with tears then and he dropped his arm to his side. Rin threw his jeans across the room at him. He admired her slender figure, longed to be holding her close to him, but she dropped back down on the bed, throwing his shirt.

"Out!" She yelled again.

And so he went, holding his shirt in his hands, his hair messed around his face, and ducked into the bathroom to finish dressing. He was careful not to awaken anybody on his way out, but he barely managed to hold his tears inside.

_What'd I do? _He wondered to himself.

Lately he'd had this question more and more often with Rin. They'd start out fine, laughing or talking or, as they had been tonight, rolling around in bed. Then something would overtake her and she'd start screaming at him. He knew it wasn't her fault; all of her fears were deep-rooted since she'd been locked up by Akito.

But all the same, he wished he could take away her pain. He longed to hold her, or at least go up to her room to make sure she was okay, but he knew that would only cause her to scream at him further.

So he went out into the night, sighing and shaking her head. He'd call tomorrow; that seemed to be best lately,

Upstairs, Rin threw herself onto the bed and started to cry. All she wanted was Haru, but somehow, she knew she would never have him without hurting him.

And so she refused to keep him with her at all.

**By the light of the moon  
She rubs her eyes  
****Says "It's funny how the night can make you blind"  
****And I can just imagine  
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do  
But if she feels bad, then I do too  
****So I let her be.**

Rin lay facedown with her head buried in her pillow. Her entire bed smelled strongly of Haru; a single strand of his white hair glittered on her pillow. She sighed in heavy frustration. She wanted to get away from him, but she wanted to hold this last glimmer of him with her, and so she breathed deeply.

This room was nothing more than a borrowed place to rest, yet it had felt like home with Haru in it. She regretted chasing him away, as she always had, but at the same time she felt like it was better than leaving him here.

Lately Rin had felt blinded to everything that had ever mattered. Ever since her imprisonment by Akito, she was afraid of everyone and everything; this included Haru, because she knew she could be taken away from him. She'd seen the look in his eyes when he held her, the way he was frightened and scared of everything.

He had been especially afraid of losing her. He had treated her like the frail, broken thing she was, and while some days she appreciated it, other days it drove her mad.

She had no clue what she wanted anymore.

Rin started to cry. "God I'm so lost. Haru… Haru come back." She whimpered these words which she might not otherwise have whimpered to her empty room and felt her tears falling fast.

"Haru…" His name was like a broken prayer.

Across town, Haru had no clue that Rin was pinning for him. He was walking a wide circle in the park, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, breathing in the smell of Rin off his clothing and trying to figure out where the evening had gone wrong.

She had just seemed so damn happy to see him. She was the one who pulled him into her room, who whispered her love and wrapped her arms around him…

And inevitably, she was the one to push him away.

It just made no sense to him. He held his cell phone close in his pocket. He just longed to hear her voice, but he knew he probably wouldn't that night.

He gave up and let his feet take him back to Shigure's for another long night of tossing and turning on Yuki's floor. He knew Yuki would just open the door and let him in without a word; that was one of the things he loved about his friend.

He knew he wouldn't know what to say if he asked what was wrong anyway.

**And she says oh  
****I can't take no more  
Her tears like diamonds on the floor  
****And her diamonds bring me down  
'Cause I can't help her now  
****She's down in it  
****She tried her best and now  
****She can't win it  
****Hard to see them on the ground  
****Her diamonds falling down**

The phone call finally came at seven the next morning. Haru, his hair a mess and his eyes bloodshot, rolled off the side of Yuki's bed to answer his phone, which vibrated endlessly in the pocket of his discarded jeans. "Hello?" He asked the caller.

"Please Haru… Please come back." Rin's voice filled his ears. They'd had this conversation before, but never had she sounded so honestly worried and panicked.

"I'll be right there," he told her, and left almost instantly, stopping only to grab his coat from the back of the chair and to thank Shigure, who was already up with a thick manuscript in his lap.

"I suggest you hurry," was all Shigure had to say, and Haru did hurry, barely noticing how familiar the routes between his own home and Rin's new place of residence had become. The fight from last night was already out of his mind. He was already focused on getting back to her.

After all, the truth was that he still loved her very much.

Rin opened the door in a short shirt that barely covered her long legs, her shorn hair a mess around her face, and threw herself at him without a word. A noise, somewhat animal, escaped her, and he felt her wet tears against his neck. He patted her back, murmuring her name.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his neck, and he kissed the top of her head, which was the only part of her warm weight visible to him, and waited to for her to go on. He knew Rin; when she had something to say, only she could say it, and he would just have to wait.

"I just feel so hopelessly crazy," she whispered to him, and he patted her shoulder, listening intently. This was the first time she'd really spoken to him about the issues that were obviously plaguing her.

"What if something happens? What if we're separated again? I just can't bear to lose you..."

"You won't lose me," he whispered.

"How do you know?" Rin asked him. "Dammit Haru you don't know that. You don't know what's going to happen. You don't know if we can even stay together. I hate this. Damn it all!" Tears began to pour from her eyes again, a rare sight.

Haru felt his stomach somersault. He didn't want to stand and hold onto his crying girlfriend; he wanted there to be a way to comfort her. But their lives were every bit as unpredictable as she said, and he could find no way to really help her.

So he held her to his chest while she cried.

"I just wish we were safe," she whimpered, and the statement was so very unlike Rin that he suddenly scooped her up and carried her into the house to lay her down in her bed. She did not protest.

Somehow, that scared him even more. He feared that this experience had broken his girlfriend, that she was in pain beyond what he could ever manage to understand.

He wanted to cry himself.

"I can't take this anymore," she whispered into his shirt. "I just don't think I can take it."

"I'll help you," he whispered, stroking her hair. "I swear I'll help you."

"I don't know… I just don't know anymore!" She sobbed, her head in his lap. They stayed like this for some time, Haru unable to think of a way to chase the tears away, and Rin suddenly, for the first time in their relationship, depending on him not to say anything.

The morning stretched on in silence.

**She sits down and stares into the distance  
****And it takes all night  
****And I know I could break her concentration  
But it don't feel right**

Rin finally sat up after several hours of simply lying with her head in Haru's lap. He breathed a sigh of relief and held out his arms to embrace her, but she only stared at the wall.

"I'm scared," she said softly. "Haru, I'm so scared. What if this goes badly? What if something happens to us? What if something happens to you? I don't know if I could take it if…"

"Rin, the curses are lifting off of everyone. You and I, we're going to be free. Everything is going to be okay. We're going to be able to be normal. Think about that. Normal."

She continued to stare at the wall in a deep trance. "What if we aren't?"

"But we will be."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I can't, but…"

"Exactly. You can't, I can't, nobody can." She put her head on her hand and sighed. "Haru, I just want some assurance. I just want everything to be okay."

"I'm doing the best I can."

"I never said it was your fault," she snapped, then instantly leaned back on him. "God, I'm sorry Haru. I don't know when I got this way. I just don't know how to escape it." She continued to stare off blankly, and Haru longed to enfold her in his arms. He wanted to kiss her and pull her to him, but he was afraid she would pull away.

He sat back with his head on the wall and watched her instead, helplessly.

**By the light of the moon  
****She rubs her eyes  
****Sits down on the bed and starts to cry  
****And there's something less about her.  
****And I don't know what I'm supposed to do  
So I sit down and I cry too  
****But don't let her see.**

She turned back to him then, her eyes full of more helpless tears. "I think this is going to end. This has to end. I've had something so important for so long I don't' know if I can have it anymore."

"Rin, don't say that. I'm still here. I'm always going to be here."

"No, no you aren't. I'm eventually going to chase you away or somebody's going to take you away from me. You're too good to me, Haru, and I don't deserve anything good!" Her voice had risen in helpless panic.

"Just leave before I hurt you!"

"You aren't hurting me," Haru said very softly, even though he wasn't sure that his words were true, the tears stinging his eyes. "Rin, you want me here. You know you're just going to call me back."

"I won't. I can't. You need to be out of my life."

"You don't mean that."

"I'm going to have to mean it… I have to Haru!" She fell back against her bed then, tears coming out of her. "Go!" She commanded.

He stood and he went. He knew he would be back, somehow, but her words had still cut him like a knife. Every fear, concern, and doubt they'd ever had for their relationship was suddenly spilling out of Rin ten-fold, and he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

He slumped down in the hallway and cried. His tears were not nearly as dramatic as hers, but they fell none the less, staining his cheeks and his collar as, for the first time, he feared actually losing Rin for good.

Only this time, the fear was that he would lose her to herself.

**She shuts out the light  
****And tries to close her eyes  
****If she can find daylight  
****She'll be all right  
She'll be all right  
****Just not tonight.**

Rin sighed, a heavy, shuttering sigh that replaced her tears. She could not cry anymore. Lately, every fear and every little doubt she'd ever had was coming to the surface. She knew it wasn't Haru's fault.

Haru. She wondered where he'd gone. Probably away, as she'd screamed at him. Something stopped her from calling him back, mostly a guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach that she knew she would be unable to shake.

She was also afraid she wasn't quite under her own control yet. Her stomach growled; Haru had stayed with her well into the night, and now the hour was late.

She stood and began to wander the empty house, locating something to eat in the fridge and sitting two chairs with her legs up. Her bare legs ached from kicking and tossing around. She knew she couldn't possibly go on like this.

She looked again at her phone and, seeing nothing, decided to trudge back up the stairs.

That was when she tripped over something hard and warm on the ground in front of her and went crashing to the floor.

**And she says oh  
****I can't take no more  
Her tears like diamonds on the floor  
****And her diamonds bring me down  
'Cause I can't help her now  
****She's down in it  
****She tried her best and now  
****She can't win it  
****Hard to see them on the ground  
****Her diamonds falling down**

Haru looked up in surprise and quiet shock at Rin, who looked down at him with the same surprised look on her face. He did not remember falling asleep outside her door; she did not remember passing him on her way downstairs.

"I'm sorry," they said at the same time, and started to laugh.

"Haru, please…"

Haru shushed her, leaning up to kiss her on the lips. "No more right now." He adjusted her weight so that he could sit up. "Whatever happens, happens. Please don't chase me off. I love you and I need you, so please, let's just take this one moment at a time and…"

Her lips came down on his. She was amazed at his forgiveness and his love and, for the moment, could put her doubts behind her and just be with him,

"I love you Haru," she said, as tears started to spill from her eyes.

"No more of that, please," he whispered.

"Your tears make look like diamonds, but you're too beautiful to cry."

She kissed him again in reply and he picked her up off the ground, carrying her into her room and gently shutting the door.

The two slept soundlessly through the night, Rin with her arms around Haru, holding him, able to, for the moment, put her fears aside and just enjoy being in love.

_A/n: Always one of my favorite couples. 3_


End file.
